PARENTHESES

GMA: “I expect our citizens to maintain their cool heads to keep the democracy that they have fought hard to protect….(the people) not to allow themselves to be used by those who want to return to power after they have been ousted, or who want to seize power and run the government through undemocratic means.”
(read: Punyemas, nagkaka-eyebag na ako sa crisis na’to… pati mga alyado ko nababantutan na sa akin…delikado na to, pano pa kaya ako lulusot nito? tanong ko kaya kay Lord kung ano magandang gawin…)

COMMISSIONER GARCILLIANO: “Hindi ako yan” (read: Sinabi ko na nga ba eh, sana text na lang ginamit namin)

VP KABAYAN: “As leaders of our nation, all of us, whether in the administration or the opposition, have a sworn duty to uphold the Constitution and the law,”
(read: thrilling naman masyado to, hehehehe…puwede na kayang pang inaugural speech yan?….)

GONZALEZ (DoJ): “There should be equal protection of the law,” (read: We will arrest all whistleblowers)

MIRRIAM DEFENSOR SANTIAGO: “Let us not be too precipitate because we might create an opportunity for the enemies of democracy to seize power contrary to our Constitution and the rule of law.” (read: I lied, bwehehehehe!!!!)

ATTY. SAMUEL ONG: “This is the mother of all tapes” (read: Magiging Governor din kaya ako parang si Chavit pagkatapos nito?)

OPPOSITION: “GMA resign” (read: yehey, kami na naman. Sige EDSA ulit para kami na naman ang bida)

THE BUSINESS CIRCLE: “Lets put this things in proper perspective. People are already tired of changing governments thru another EDSA. It’s bad for our economy.” (read: Wala kaming paki-alam kung ano mang kinahihinatnan nito. Ang Importante hindi malulugi negosyo namin kahit sino pa ang pumalit.)

GEN. ABAT: “I will replace GMA” (read: Ayan nabubulabog na ang opposition, nauunahan ko na sila sa pagpupusisyon.)

AFP: “The chain of command is intact. We will remain loyal to our Commander-in-chief.” (read: Saka na kami lalantad kung medyo malinaw na kung sinong mananalo. In the meantime tapusin na muna namin yung resort sa Boracay.)

U.S.: “We give our support to the present administration.” (read: We can just simply change position when the time comes. Everybody wants our support anyway)

CHURCH: “The Church must not be disunited by the ongoing events. Let us just pray” (read: Pray lang muna ha…mahirap pang tumaya, masyado pang maaga.Amen)

PNP: “We have reports that there is an ongoing recruitment for destabilization within our ranks.” (read: o ayan, pansinin naman sana promotion namin)

TV Networks: “Exclusive!” (read: hala sige mag-rambolan kayo…scoop ito, kami naunang nag-cover…kami number 1)

YUPPIES: “yeah right! ok lets debate but lets stop going to EDSA, duh, it’s so tiring na and chaotic and all that. (read:Lets have coffee na lang at Starbucks)

ORDINARYONG MAMAMAYAN: “!!##$%^**:!#@@???” (read: malapit nang mapuno ang salop…amin din ang huling halakhak…magsapin-sapin na kayong lahat!!!)