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English Kills!

May 5th, 2005 Comments off

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

FACTS

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

4. Italians drink large amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and Suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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De profúndis

April 8th, 2005 Comments off

santopadre
Ioannes Paulus PP. II
Karol Wojtyla
18.V.1920 – 2.IV.2005

De profúndis clamávi ad te, Dómine: Dómine, exáudi vocem meam.
Fiant aures tuae intendéntes: in vocem deprecationes meae.
Si iniquitátes observaveris, Dómine: Dómine, quis sustinébit.
Quia apud te propitiátio est: et propter legem tuam sustinui te, Dómine.
Sustinuit ánima mea in verbo ejus: sperávit ánima mea in Dómino.
A custodia matutina usque ad noctem: specret Israel in Dómino.
Quia apud Dóminum misericordia: et copiósa apud eum redémptio.
Et ipse redimet Israel, ex ómnibus iniquitátibus ejus.

In paradísum : dedúcant te Angeli :
in túo advéntu suscípiant te Mártyres,
et perdúcant te in civitátem sánctam Jerúsalem.
Chórus Angelórum te suscípiat,
et cum Lázaro quondam páupere aetérnam hábeas réquiem.

Réquiem ætérnam dona ei Dómine; et lux perpétua lúceat ei.
Requiéscat in pace Ioannes Paulus.

Amen.

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Sampung Kautusan ng Manginginum

April 4th, 2005 Comments off

Sampung Kautusan ng Manginginum

1. Huwag makulit habang umiinom
2. Huwag matakaw sa pulutan
3. Huwag patagalin ang baso…may nagaantay na iba!
4. Huwag uminon ng uminom…bumili ka naman!
5. Uminom ng diretso sa tiyan…huwag sa ulo!
– bawal magbasag
– bawal makipag-away
6. Huwag biglang mawala…magpaalam ka naman!
7. Magtira ng panlakad pauwi…kahit hinlalaki!
8. Huwag matulog habang umiinom
9. Huwag mayabang at maporma
10. Huwag matakot sa asawa o sa syota

Pinagtibay ng Pambansang Kongreso ng Alsa Baso
Abril 1(Araw ng mga Tanga) 2005
Isla Puting Bato

(Pinirmahan)

Basilio “Basyong” Bote
(Pangkalahatang Tangero)

Simplicio “Jun” Tagay
(Pambansang Kampai)

Rev. Jude “Padre Hudas” Hik
PO3 Maximo “Amok” Mamaril
Kagawad Salvador “Badong” Bukol
Mr. Sixto “Totoy” Mola
Bgy. Capt. Bartoldo “Bart” Dipaawat
Mrs. Ligaya “Uhaw” Mangakit
(Mga Pambansang Tagapagpayo)

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Call Center Applicants Bloopers Part 1

March 10th, 2005 Comments off

A friend sent me an email about a collection of amusing lines from call center applicants. I presume that this collection is already circulating around through emails. But just the same, enjoy reading!

Here goes.

1. I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality)
2. I want to learn more English words. (When asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!]
3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede
ko’ng apply-an?)
4. “Ten” (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
5. “Kelan Po?” (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
6. “I want to career my call center” (A civil Engineer applicant on a Phone interview)
7. “What company are you again?” (Translated: Anong company ka connected?)
8. “Am I feet-ed for the position?” (Qualified ba ako?)
9. “I had an experience last year ago to transak”
10. “The sky is blue is the rain drops is near to fall (Answer to the question: Why do you think is the sky blue?)
11. “I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir.” (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?)
12. “Pede makuha yong telephone mo?” (Read: Can I get your phone number?) [Pano pa ako magtatawag nyan?]
13. “I’m enough feet-ed for the job”
14. “My 1 brother and 4 sister is elder than me”
15. “My dad died during the middle of my stay in UST.”
16. “I able to gradweyt in 2003”
17. “I’m only a shifter of the course.”
18. “Leif Garret sing the song BORN IN THE USA.”
19. “I learned that call center is good so I try to get my luck.”
20. “I heard to anybody that call center is a good pay.”
21. “While my college days.” (I think he meant DURING.)
22. “I’m an hanes person.” [Di ba brand ng damet yon?]
23. “I am with competent for this job.”
24. “I am a cheerful personality.”
25. “I’m planning to transfered here in Manila.”
26. “I know all THAT things.”
27. “I want to experience how to contact with them.” (referring to customers)
28. “I live from Pandacan, Manila.”
29. “It’s Challenge.” (An applicants answer to the question: Why do you want to work in a call center?)
30. “I want to use a school supplies.”
31. “I wear a long hair”
32. “Shape it into heart or flower.”
33. “Spouch” (He meant spouse)
34. “Jopanes” (Japanese)
35. “Pud in yur tang.” (Food in your mouth)
36. “Just a walk away.” (answer to the question: How far is FEU from UE)
37. “There’s not much the same!” (Read: There’s not much difference)
38. “I want to expose myself to the customers.” (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center”) – Flasher ITO!
39. “Is there an opening for a call center?” (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?)
40. “Is the women whom are you looking for me gave to you my number?” (What? It’s a wrong mistake!)
41. “It’s very useable.” (He meant it’s useful)
42. “Bend like a dog.” (Ano raw? Bastos ito!)
43. “Blow an air.” (Ano raw ulit?)
44. “I can’t bret lyk dat.” (Hindi raw sha makahinga.)
45. “Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I’M a call center from the Philippines.”
46. “Can you call back ‘coz I’m dealing some people here. ” (Answer to the question: Can I conduct a phone interview?”)
47. “Chocolates, boys with tongue pierce.” (Answer to the question: What are your weaknesses?)
48. “I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!” (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students)

….ang Part 2 sa next post

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Today is International Womens Day

March 8th, 2005 Comments off

International Womens DayI would like to greet my dearest wife, my lovely daughter, my mother, my sister, my aunts, my women cousins, my women colleagues, my women comrades, my women friends, sisters of our Order, our women neighbors, women bloggers, aming kasambahay, sa lahat ng kababaihan ng Pilipinas at sa buong mundo…. HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY!!! MABUHAY ANG KABABAIHAN!!! MABUHI ANG KABABAYEN-AN!!!

Heres a piece of HERstory by the UN on the International Womens Day:

International Women’s Day (8 March) is an occasion marked by women’s groups around the world. This date is also commemorated at the United Nations and is designated in many countries as a national holiday. When women on all continents, often divided by national boundaries and by ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic and political differences, come together to celebrate their Day, they can look back to a tradition that represents at least nine decades of struggle for equality, justice, peace and development.

International Women’s Day is the story of ordinary women as makers of history; it is rooted in the centuries-old struggle of women to participate in society on an equal footing with men. In ancient Greece, Lysistrata initiated a sexual strike against men in order to end war; during the French Revolution, Parisian women calling for “liberty, equality, fraternity” marched on Versailles to demand women’s suffrage.

The idea of an International Women’s Day first arose at the turn of the century, which in the industrialized world was a period of expansion and turbulence, booming population growth and radical ideologies. Following is a brief chronology of the most important events:

  • 1909 In accordance with a declaration by the Socialist Party of America, the first National Woman’s Day was observed across the United States on 28 February. Women continued to celebrate it on the last Sunday of that month through 1913.
  • 1910 The Socialist International, meeting in Copenhagen, established a Women’s Day, international in character, to honour the movement for women’s rights and to assist in achieving universal suffrage for women. The proposal was greeted with unanimous approval by the conference of over 100 women from 17 countries, which included the first three women elected to the Finnish parliament. No fixed date was selected for the observance.
  • 1911 As a result of the decision taken at Copenhagen the previous year, International Women’s Day was marked for the first time (19 March) in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland, where more than one million women and men attended rallies. In addition to the right to vote and to hold public office, they demanded the right to work, to vocational training and to an end to discrimination on the job.

    Less than a week later, on 25 March, the tragic Triangle Fire in New York City took the lives of more than 140 working girls, most of them Italian and Jewish immigrants. This event had a significant impact on labour legislation in the United States, and the working conditions leading up to the disaster were invoked during subsequent observances of International Women’s Day.

  • 1913-1914 As part of the peace movement brewing on the eve of World War I, Russian women observed their first International Women’s Day on the last Sunday in February 1913. Elsewhere in Europe, on or around 8 March of the following year, women held rallies either to protest the war or to express solidarity with their sisters.
  • 1917 With 2 million Russian soldiers dead in the war, Russian women again chose the last Sunday in February to strike for “bread and peace”. Political leaders opposed the timing of the strike, but the women went on anyway. The rest is history: Four days later the Czar was forced to abdicate and the provisional Government granted women the right to vote. That historic Sunday fell on 23 February on the Julian calendar then in use in Russia, but on 8 March on the Gregorian calendar in use elsewhere.

Since those early years, International Women’s Day has assumed a new global dimension for women in developed and developing countries alike. The growing international women’s movement, which has been strengthened by four global United Nations women’s conferences, has helped make the commemoration a rallying point for coordinated efforts to demand women’s rights and participation in the political and economic process. Increasingly, International Women’s Day is a time to reflect on progress made, to call for change and to celebrate acts of courage and determination by ordinary women who have played an extraordinary role in the history of women’s rights.

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BALAHIBONG PUSA

February 10th, 2005 Comments off

Mahilig mag-alaga ng mga hayop ang nanay ko. Sa ngayon may 9 na pusa siyang alaga sa bahay. Hindi ito mga Siamese o Burmese Cats, mga lahing Pusakal (pusang kalye) ang mga ito. Kaya hindi mga pangalang pang pretty-tweetum-pussy ang bininyag naming, mga pangalan nila kundi mga ordinaryong pangalan lang. Yung mga pangalang naririnig mo kung saan saan. Mukhang enjoy naman sila sa mga pangalang ibininigay namin sa kanila. Mabalahibo ngunit makulay ang kwento ng mga pusa sa bahay namin.

Ito ang kwento nila.
Read more…

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That’s what friends are for

February 9th, 2005 Comments off


Today, a friend of mine sent me this email. It’s not the usual so-so “inspirational friendship themes” but a mirthful yet real face of friendship that is devoid of any hypocritical finesse.

Here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

When you are sad –
I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard
who made you sad.

When you are blue –
I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile –
I will know you finally got laid.

When you are scared –
I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried –
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and
to quit whining.

When you are confused –
I will use little words.

When you are sick –
Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want
whatever you have.

When you fall -!
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath … I pledge it till the end.

Why? You may ask. Because you are my friend


Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because
you can only think of two and one of them isn’t speaking to you right now
anyway.


Remember:

A good friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.

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